Am I Your Fire, Your One Desire
by SomethingMoreCreative
Summary: They've been best friends since high school, a little in love with each other since then too, but it takes a one night stand before either one can admit it to the other. And then that's when it gets difficult. Or, the one where Annabeth is pregnant, and she can't figure out how to tell Percy. Dedicated to @iwillove on tumblr.


**A/N: Hey, guys! This is a fic for iwillove on tumblr for Christmas that took me too long to finish, but here it is! The title is from I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. Also, this isn't medically correct so.**

 **Come talk to me on tumblr! My URL is somethingmorecreative1**

 _-1222016-_

 _Tell me why_

 _Ain't nothin' but a heartache_

 _Tell me why_

 _Ain't nothin' but a mistake_

 _Tell me why_

 _I never wanna hear you—_

Annabeth ripped the radio's cord out of the socket and tossed it against the opposite wall, watching through blurry eyes as it shattered into several pieces. The music stopped abruptly, and her chest was heaving with breath as she tried to make her heartbeat slow down. She felt like she was going to be sick. She felt like—

She gripped the sink counter until her hands started sweating and her arms started shaking.

How could she have been so stupid? Why did she let this happen? How was she going to—?

Annabeth flinched violently when her phone rang. She scrambled to grab it from the floor where she dropped it earlier, and she froze when she picked it up.

Her tears dripped down her face when she saw Percy's contact picture.

She let the call go to her voicemail, and she dropped her phone back to the ground, right beside the plastic stick that had a positive sign on it.

Ω

Six weeks ago, Annabeth made a huge mistake.

She and Percy were hanging out, watching Netflix while he graded papers and she worked on a new design for her firm. They always hung out together on the weekends, just like they had been doing since high school. After all, they had been best friends since then, and it was just something they did. They went through college together, they lived in the same city, and they stayed together. It was _them._

But they weren't actually _together._ Sure, Annabeth had had feelings for Percy on and off for pretty much forever, but the timing never seemed right. She dated other guys, and Percy dated other people too, and it just—there never really seemed like a good time for her to tell him. So she just didn't.

That night at his apartment, they were drinking wine. They had already been through one bottle, and Annabeth knew for sure that she had drunk more than Percy because even though he was acting a little tipsy, he was still grading his ninth graders' papers from earlier that week. Just a few hours later though, they had been through another whole bottle, and Annabeth was getting louder and happier by the second.

She couldn't remember the exact details, but somehow, they started talking about what was going to happen when they got older. Percy said something sweet that made her look up at him in disbelief, and then her eyes were hanging on his lips and they were both scooting closer and and and—

Despite being a bit tipsy, she remembered exactly what happened after he kissed her. She remembered his head dipping to her neck to kiss her throat while she yanked at his belt and shoved her hand into his jeans. Her shirt was next, and then his shirt, then her bra and finally—

The next morning, Annabeth had woken up curled up against Percy's chest with his arms wrapped around her tightly. It wasn't like they had never slept in the same bed before, but it was the first time that there weren't any clothes between them.

Both of them blamed it on the alcohol, and even though Annabeth could see the lie in Percy's eyes when he said that he didn't remember anything, she agreed and lied too. The last thing she wanted was for one night to ruin her friendship with Percy.

But _damn,_ what a night it had been.

Things had been weird between them after that. She couldn't really look at Percy without thinking about what he tasted like or the look on his face when he was hovering over her and bending down to kiss her and—

They had finally been getting back to normal when Annabeth had missed her period. That was when she had realized that they hadn't used a condom.

Annabeth was pregnant, and she couldn't figure out how to tell Percy.

Ω

Before Annabeth could figure something out, Percy showed up at her door the next Friday afternoon.

He was bundled up in a black jacket, and Annabeth could see his blue collared shirt and tie peeking out from underneath it, like he came straight from the school. His hair was ruffled from the wind, and his cheeks were pink from the cold.

Looking at him, Annabeth felt guilty for ignoring his calls and texts. They had been best friends for _years,_ and Percy probably thought that she hated him for what happened.

"Hey," she breathed, self-conscious of her pajamas. Percy had seen her in a lot less, but they weren't exactly in the best place.

He got right to the point. "You've been avoiding me since that night."

She sighed and pushed the door open wider, "Come inside, Percy."

He shook his head, "No. Just—just tell me why. Tell me what I did wrong."

His voice was so sad, Annabeth flinched. She didn't want him to be upset because he—he just didn't understand. He didn't know how big this was. He didn't think anything else was wrong.

Her eyes welled with tears, and her voice broke when she blurted out, "It's because I love you. I'm in love with you, and I can't be around you without thinking about that night and missing it and you and and—"

The other reason bubbled to her lips, but before she said anything, Percy shoved inside and grabbed her in his arms, hugging her close and picking her up off of the ground.

It took her a few seconds to realize that he was saying, "I love you too, Annabeth. I love you too, and I'm so sorry that it took me this long to tell you and—"

She cut him off when she pulled back and leaned down to kiss him.

She felt Percy step forward, and then she heard the door close behind him. Suddenly, her back was against the door, and Percy was kissing her and kissing her and _kissing her._ She felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest.

He pulled back after a few minutes. His voice was breathless when he said, "I'm so sorry, Annabeth."

Even though she felt like she might throw up, she tried to give him a smile because at least he was here. At least he was with her, _and_ he loved her. Percy loved her.

She ducked forward to peck his lips because she couldn't get enough of him. "Don't be sorry. I should have told you a long time ago too."

"How long ago?" He asked, green eyes wide as he looked up at her.

"High school," she breathed, pressing her lips to his jaw.

He laughed lightly, like he couldn't believe any of this. "Me too, Annabeth."

Ω

Percy and Annabeth were dating now. Everything was going great.

All of their friends were excited. Percy's parents were incredibly happy when they told them that they were dating, and Annabeth had barely been able to make it through that conversation with Sally without crying.

Since they were dating, it was getting harder to hide the pregnancy. She still hadn't told Percy about it, and just thinking about it made her morning sickness worse. Thank god Percy was a heavy sleeper because on the nights they spent together, Annabeth usually woke up rushing to the bathroom to throw up. He had only woken up to find her once, so she had been able to blame it on a stomach bug instead.

Things were great with Percy, and she didn't want to scare him by telling him that she was pregnant. Sure, they had been together for a long time now, but they had only been _really_ together for a few weeks. She didn't want to mess it up.

She knew that he was going to hate her for it, but Annabeth couldn't bring herself to tell him. Not yet.

Ω

"And who are you here to see?" The secretary asked again, writing up Annabeth's visitor pass. Percy had forgotten his lunch at home that morning, and she had stopped by to drop it off before she had to go to work.

"Mr. Jackson," Annabeth repeated, trying not to smile too big.

The older woman handed her a pass and gave her directions to Percy's classroom, even though she had been there plenty of times.

There were a few kids in the hallways, but when she knocked on Percy's open door, smiling when she read the plate that said _Mr. Jackson,_ the room was empty except for him.

Percy looked up from his desk, glasses sitting low on his nose. At first, she had made fun of him for having to get them because he was getting older now, but when she realized that they made him look almost ten times sexier, she stopped abruptly. He was also wearing a blue button down with a tie, and even though Annabeth had seen him this morning before he left home, seeing him in his classroom, sitting at his desk and grading papers drove her _crazy._

"Annabeth?" Percy asked with a slight frown, stepping out from behind his desk. "Everything okay?"

She hummed and held up the brown paper sack. "You forgot your lunch."

He grinned, stepping forward until he could bend down and press a light kiss to her lips. His hand ghosted over her hip and he dragged his fingers across her stomach, making butterflies swarm under his hand because he was touching their—

"I love you," he said, his smile growing. "You're great."

There was a warm feeling spreading through her body after Percy had touched her belly, right over the baby.

She smiled, "You're welcome."

Before Percy could say anything else, a bell rang and a few kids started trickling in the door. She grasped Percy's hand for a few seconds before giving him another smile and slipping out into the hallway.

When she was back in the car and on her way to work, she pressed her hand to her belly and smiled. She felt tears welling in her eyes, and she blamed it on her raging hormones.

For the first time since she found out she was pregnant, Annabeth spoke down to the baby and said, "Daddy's pretty cute, isn't he, baby?"

Ω

Annabeth almost always had her hand on her belly after that. Unless Percy was with her, then she usually kept her hand twisted with his so she wouldn't press her hand to the miniscule bump.

She was happier now, and she was actually really excited about the baby. Even though she still hadn't told Percy about it, she had accepted it, and she was really excited to have him— or her. For some reason, her gut was telling her that it was a _him,_ and when she imagined it as she was falling asleep, she always thought of a mini-Percy, running up to her and smiling and laughing and yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!"

When she woke up from those dreams, she was often smiling too hard to go back to sleep.

She was working on a way to tell Percy. Since they had been together for almost a month now, she was running out of time before he noticed on his own. Despite his moments, Percy could notice things about her quicker than she did most of the time.

One day after work, Annabeth found herself shopping in the baby section of one of her favorite stores. On a whim, she bought a blue onesie with a fish on the front of it because it reminded her of Percy, and when she saw it, she could swear that she felt a soft kick inside of her even though she knew it was too soon.

"I like it too, baby," Annabeth murmured, running her fingers over the soft material again.

Ω

Traffic was worse than usual on Annabeth's way to work the next morning. She wasn't going to be late, but she was going to be a bit later than normal. Her assistant would probably call her wondering what was going on.

She was humming softly to the music while she sat in traffic underneath a red light, letting her mind wander back to Percy. He had been off work this morning because of the school system's fall break, so she had gotten to wake up to him kissing her and running his fingers all over her skin. He had begged her to stay in bed with him all morning, and she would have done it if she hadn't had a meeting with a client this morning.

Suddenly, there was a honk, and then there was glass shattering and metal crunching and she thought the car was spinning and—

Annabeth's eyes closed when her head hit the window.

Ω

The first thing that Annabeth heard when she woke up was the sound of someone sniffling.

When she opened her eyes, the world was spinning. The bright fluorescent lights above her were blinding her, and she groaned automatically when the throbbing in her head started. There was something on her nose, but when she tried to lift her hand to rip it off, something caught it, jerking on her skin.

After a few seconds, the world steadied.

The bright room was all white, with a TV hung in the corner of the wall. It was playing some sitcom, but she couldn't recognize which one. There was a vase filled with flowers—white lilies, her favorite—sitting on the table at the end of her bed.

She realized that someone was holding her hand.

Annabeth rolled her head to the side, wincing when her neck screamed in protest.

None of that mattered when she saw Percy sitting beside her.

He was holding her hand in both of his, pressing them to his face. She could just catch the tears that were tracing down his cheeks. He had his eyes slammed close, and his shoulders were shaking a little.

She had been in a car wreck. That's why she was at the hospital.

"Percy?" She croaked, hoping he would hear her hoarse voice.

He jerked his head up, opening his eyes to look at her. The next second he was lunging forward, up and out of his chair to throw his arms around her. He held her tightly, but his arms were loose enough keep from hurting her sore shoulder.

"Annabeth. Oh my god, Annabeth," his voice was shaking, and he curled his fingers into her back. "Do you feel okay? I can go get a nurse. I can—"

"Slow down," she groaned, pushing her face into his shoulder. "Just slow down, okay?"

"Okay," he murmured. "I'm fine."

She nodded slowly, and Percy let go of her, sitting down on the edge of her hospital bed and keeping his hands around hers.

"What happened?" She asked, groaning as she looked down at the bandages wrapped around her wrist. Her back and shoulders were sore, and there was a place on her side that was throbbing a little.

"You were in a car wreck on your way to work," he explained, reaching up to cup her cheek. His eyes were frozen on hers, like he couldn't believe she was awake. "You hit your head and broke two of your ribs. One of them—one punctured your lungs and they had to do surgery to keep you from dying."

Annabeth sucked in a surprised breath, her lungs protesting quickly at the effort. That's why there was a cannula on her nose, to help her breath.

"Anything… else?" She said, gasping for a second until she caught her breath back.

He was silent. Annabeth wondered what was wrong.

Then she noticed the way his eyes flickered down to her stomach.

"Annabeth," Percy said gently, and something in his voice broke her.

Her lungs felt even tighter when he said, "They couldn't… They couldn't save the baby."

Annabeth felt her heart tear to pieces inside of her chest, and she was dizzy again. She felt like she was going to throw up. Why—why did this— _why?_

Percy's arms were around her suddenly, and Annabeth realized she was sobbing. She clutched his shirt with one hand, crying into his neck. This wasn't fair. None of this was fair. He was probably wrong. He _had_ to be wrong. There was no way that she had lost their baby. Just— _no._

She felt Percy's tears drip down onto the side of her face. He never cried like that.

"I'm sorry, Percy," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't even keep—"

"It's _not_ your fault, Annabeth," he said fiercely. "It's not your fault, okay? The doctors had to keep you alive, and they couldn't save both of you and they said the baby was still too little and—it's not your fault. It's _not."_

Her world was falling apart. She pulled back to see Percy's face.

His eyes were red, and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. His jaw was clenched, but he was staring at her and there was relief in his eyes, like he was just happy that she was alive.

"You're okay," he said softly. "You're going to be fine."

She hiccupped roughly, burying her face against his chest and shuddering with the pain in her lungs. She deserved it. She deserved every last ounce of the pain because she had lost their baby.

She felt _empty._

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm so sorry, Percy, I'm so _sorry—"_

"Annabeth, _stop."_

She shoved back from him, pulling her free hand that didn't have the IV up to her face.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Percy blurted out. When Annabeth's eyes darted up to his face, he looked like he instantly regretted the words that flew out of his mouth.

Annabeth sobered. "I… I didn't want to scare you."

"It was that first night we were together, wasn't it?" Percy guessed, eyebrows scrunched together. "And that week you avoided me was when you found out."

She shuddered, but nodded.

He leaned closer to her, dropping his head into his hands. "I wish you had told me sooner."

Another tear dripped down her cheek, and Annabeth felt anger rising in her chest. Her voice was cold when she said, "Well, at least I didn't get your hopes up because I lost him, didn't I?"

Percy jerked his head up, and when she thought that he was going to be angry with her, all he said, in a broken voice, was, "Him?"

Her breath caught. She barely managed to choke out, "I didn't know for sure. I just thought it would be a boy."

His face was blank, but she could see the pain in his eyes. "I wish you would have told me because I didn't want you to have to do this by yourself. This… worrying about what I would think and fretting about what to eat or why you're sick or— _any_ of it, okay? You'll never scare me away, Annabeth. I love you, and I want a family and a _life_ with you. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded miserably, clenching her hands into fists until Percy took one away from her and tangled her fingers with his.

His voice was a million times softer when he said, "We're going to be fine, Annabeth. We're fine."

"I love you. I'm so sorry," she whispered, leaning back until her head hit the pillows of her hospital bed.

Percy leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering for a few seconds afterwards. He squeezed Annabeth's hand in his, and she cried herself back to sleep.

Ω

The snow fell quietly to the street, mirroring the street lights that flickered in the darkness, casting an orange glow onto the empty sidewalk.

Even though Percy was at her side, holding her hand and humming softly, he felt like he was a million miles away.

It had been weeks since the car accident. Weeks since she had gotten out of the hospital.

Weeks since she lost _him._

Annabeth tightened her jaw, fighting the sadness that welled up in her chest. She had been… inconsolable at first. Once she was out of the hospital, she and Percy got into so many petty fights because of the tension between them that she thought she was going to lose him for good.

It helped when she talked to Sally.

Percy's mother had cried when Annabeth told her about the baby, but Sally was positive that they would have another chance. That they would have a family one day. That things happened for a reason.

Annabeth wasn't sure if that was true.

She turned her head away from Percy, looking to the right.

She froze, jerking to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Percy stopped too because of his hold on her hand. His voice was confused when he asked her what was wrong.

In the window of one of the shops, there was a nursery set up, with a beautiful white crib and elegant rocking chair beside it. The rest of the display was set up perfectly, and just looking at it made Annabeth feel sick to her stomach.

This was supposed to be her nursery. She would have had a room in her apartment that looked like this. A room where the baby slept and lived and grew.

 _Their_ baby. That she lost.

Percy voice was soft, "Annabeth."

She tore her gaze away from the window. "No, I know. Come on, let's go home."

"Annabeth. Don't shut me out."

She sighed roughly, "I know that he was yours too, but he was _inside me._ He was… he was—"

She choked on her sobs, and Percy pulled her into his chest.

"Hey," he said, tangling his hand in her hair and letting the other grip her hip. "I know it's hard, and I know it hurts. Hell, I can't imagine how you feel, Annabeth, but it just… it's something that happened. It's something that we have to deal with."

"What if I can't get pregnant again?" she whispered, finally letting the horrible question come to the surface.

"The doctors say that you're fine—"

"What if the doctors are wrong?"

He shoved her back for enough where he could see her face. His eyes were wide, and his jaw was tight. He said, "Then we'll adopt. Annabeth, if this is something that you want, then we _will_ get it, okay? This won't stop us from having a family. Do you understand?"

She nodded, letting out a harsh breath against his chest as his words washed over her.

They stood in the middle of the deserted sidewalk for an indescribable amount of time, with Annabeth clutching on to Percy and Percy holding on to Annabeth. Percy was all that Annabeth had anymore, and he wasn't getting away from her. Not now, not ever.

"I love you," she murmured, blinking away the tears in her eyes.

He nodded too, "I love you too, Annabeth. I love you so much."

Annabeth let Percy's words surround her and comfort her at the same time, and she thought that her heart might be able to heal from the break that shattered it, especially with him by her side and ready to conquer the world.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a review!**

 **-SomethingMoreCreative**


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